I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you had me at cake vodka
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize