Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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