My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
