Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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