She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
