my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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