our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
