this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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