Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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