it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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