I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
