Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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