Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize