I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize