He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
