do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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