In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
