party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
