Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
