I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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