Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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