ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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