What a fucking waste of an outfit
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
