We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
