I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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