He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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