just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
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