My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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