I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
