I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
