I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
