i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
