Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
