WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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