Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
