dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
