You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
