did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
