i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i came on her dog
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
