Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
