I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
