Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize