How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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