I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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