Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize