What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
