but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
why do cheetos always look like penises
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
