We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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