i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
try to milk me bitch
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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