I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
