having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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