I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
