just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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