no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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