the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I could make wine with my vomit
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
