Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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