How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
