problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
