I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
