Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
