i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
