And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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