just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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